i am who i am :)

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me with ovarian cyst and fibroids :(

now let us continue on what is actually happen to me...

masa nak masuk OT, i am super nervous... dah tak mampu nak kata apa2 kat mr dar... tapi dar pesan... "bie ishtighfar byk2, selawat... insyaALLAH everything will be okay.. dar tunggu bie kat luar, tak g mana ye... i love you".... "bie love you too dar" mucho..mucho ❤❤❤

mr dar tunggu sorang2 kat luar OT... sian dia.. ye la, konon tak nak susah kan sesiapa kan.... and as mentioned ealier, we have been told by the doc and nurses that the procedure might only took 1 hour.. so mr dar, waited patiently kat luar OT.. tapi bak kata mr dar, after one hour.. still tak kuar, 2 jam tak kuar... my hubby dah mula risau dan gelisah start bising pegi tanya nurse semua... nak tahu what is actually happen to me.. tapi tak sorang pon tahu what is actually happen in OT..
huhuhu.. 3 jam pon tak kuar lagi, lagi la dia risau... kesiannya suami ku...

tetiba, dar kata after almost 4 hours... dia dengar org menjerit2 sakit.... huhuhu... and guess what.... it's me!!!! waaaaaaa..... coz the worst part is ubat bius tu abis immediately after the operations ends.... arghhhhh..... ya ALLAH... only HE knows the paint!! masyaALLAH.... pedihnye..... and i couldnt do anything and not knowing what is actually happen to me.... huhuhuhu... poor me... abis operation they wake me up, masa tu sedar and jerit la... sakit tauuuu.... sakit sangat... and very traumatic..

normally, ubat bius akan abis dlm 3 to4 hours after operation... but in my case.. i woke up and feel the pain immediately after the operation ends... so just imagine my condition... mau tak menjerit.. sakit... all i can say is "sakit..sakit.. tolong la... sakit", smpi my hubby kata... sedih sangat tgk my condition... and i have no idea that i've gone through 4 hours of surgery, with tiga tempat jahitan sbb tebuk utk laparoscopy procedure plus... a long cut to remove a cyst from my right ovari and two small fibroids from my left tube... it's was a doc decision since we have no kids and that might be one of the reason... and my left tube twisted, so doc dah betul kan jugak... sounds scary kan....

and the pain makes me tak boleh tido the whole night... but at least the pain killer buat tahan sikit la... so bermula pantang seperti org bersalin... huhuhu...for more than a week mmg tak kuat nak ddk lama... sakit, banyak baring.. and my niece yg banyak jaga, nak bangun panggil, nak g toilet papahkan... pakai kan stokin, siapkan baju nak tukar... alhamdulilah ada niece yg boleh diharapkan... ye la, mr dar kene la g keje dah cuti seminggu lebih.. kesian kat my mom nak masak semua... so niece la yg byk tolong... and dia mmg suka pon.. hehehe...

me and hubby took this test as a dugaan dari ALLAH, only HE knows the best for us.. but with all the doas from family and friends, insyaALLAH we will be strong..




me before the day of surgery... sempat lagi ye.. tak tahu, esoknye nak kene operate.. pastu kene pantang lagi... huhuhu.. sabar je la... tak smpt pon nak share apa yg dibeli tu... huhuhu.. tapi bukan handbag ye... hehehe




me and my one and only beloved nurse, caretaker, chef, and hubby: mr dar... tq sayang for everything, i ❤ u so much... and is because of you dar, i will be strong... thank you ya ALLAH for everything that YOU grant for me and my hubby... alhamdulilah...

"don't lose hope coz ALLAH maha mengetahui dan berkuasa atas hamba-hambaNYa" aamiin....

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it's been 3 weeks...

yes... it's been 3 weeks after my surgery... one of my nightmare... and unexpected moments which eventually change my life..

it's begin a week before my surgery day.. rasa sakit sangat on my left side (u'll know later at which part)... especially bila busy, and i bit busy travelling to penang and jb for meetings... so mmg la sakit kann.... then my hubby ask me to see doctor, since i'd the same paint before.. so on friday 25th May, jumpa specialist kat an-nur bangi... then after scan and ultra sound... doc suspect yg i'm pregnant (not really excited though) tapi luar rahim... which is very dangerous... and she also suspect that there's something on my left ovari.. but ultrasound does not show real picture so she referred me to hospital for laparoscopy procedure... and i'm like.... what was that... GOOGLE....

and ya ALLAH, takutnye.... i've never admitted before... tak pernah masuk hospital ko.... tapi doc kata, if tak buat... bahaya for myself since tak tahu apa sbnrnye... lagipon it's just a minor surgery, tebuk perut utk masukkan camera... huhuhu... sounds ngeri kan... nak main tebuk2 plak.... adoiiii...

my hubby kata... ok, let's go... he's really concern about my health.. sian dar, you're worried so much.. oh cinta... please... i need a break... apa kata dar bawak bie g pavillion dulu, bie nak g jalan2, starbucks and etc... and he likes... hurmmmm ok sayang... muaaahhhhsss... (it's explain my previous post, bershopping bagai tuuu.... hehehee)

ok, then on monday, we went to kpj kajang, but doc was on leave for emergency... so, takpe... the next day, we went to ampang puteri... and they told us, the procedure cannot be done since OT on renovation... huhuhuhu... okay...

so on wednesday, 30th May, appointment at kpj kajang with my gyne dr rasliza ramli... she's very good... highly recommended...

and i did the same test, scan and ultrasound... and the doc still tak tahu apa, but both doc mentioned there's cyst about 2cm.. kecik and normally doc won't remove... but it was my right side.. left remain unknown (amboiii... main sorok2 plak...sabar je laaa) then dr rasliza pon tanya "bila last makan? makan apa?" i jawab... "this morning, breakfast roti telur and milo ais" (without knowing it was my last milo ais for next few months... ehhh boleh ke tahan... hehehe)

pastu dr kata... "ok, let's do the laparoscopy and start puasa ye..." and i was like.... blurrrrr.... tapi pujuk myself... ala, nak scope je pon... dlm 1 hour siap semua.... hurmmmm.... hari ni admit, esok kuar... sounds simple kannn... cam tak sakit jer... huhuhu

since, hospital penuh... (ramainye org sakit ye, mayb ramai yg nak deliver kot) about 3pm... kpj kajang call "puan, puan dah boleh check in ye.. katil semua dah siap..." chewahhhh, cam check in hotel plak....

ok, now i'm nervous.... waaaaaaa.... just the two of us g hospital, since minor surgery, so i just inform my sister, my mom and my hubby family... ofis, just bgtau... i masuk hospital... tu je... msk jer, tak ddk pon katil lagi... tak sempat nak feelings2 okay... dah laaa 1st time masuk... nurse dtg bg uniform OT... "puan ready ye, kita nak terus pegi OT".. then i jawab "saya nak mandi dulu" hehehe.... abis je mandi.. dah tercegat kat luar.. "puan boleh baring, take out everything.." i jawab.. "where's my hubby?" pastu cam nak nangis.. bila ddk atas katil... nak tunggu kene tolak... and i'm blurrrr... my hubby kata.. "relax sayang ye, dun worry... 1 jam jer.. dar tunggu bie kat luar"... even the nurse yg bwk pegi OT pon perasan yg me so nervous... gile ko tak nervous.... waaaaaaaa....

okay what happen next?

what?!!!
it's not laparoscopy! then what?!!!
not 1 hour operation... and i'm screaming in the OT?? what the..... waaaaaaa.....

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