my LUCRIN experience.. :(

lama tak update my latest condition... as you can see (base on my posted pictures) i'm looking happy and yes i'm HAPPY... apa lagi nak buat kannn... takkan asyik nak meraung kot! hahahaha...

actually, i'm a positive person, and i'm lucky coz my other half is a positive person too... alhamdulilah... so, selagi ada ALLAH, apa saja yang merintangi... be positive... YES..

last monday i went to KPJ Kajang for my 2nd and final lucrin, what is lucrin you read below caption by Dr. Nikola... and for further.. please google.. sorry, coz if i am a doctor than mayb i can explain... sekarang ni nak paham bahasa medical ni pon problem.. pening mak! hehehe..

tapi tetap nak share my experience... dalam bahasa biasa.. lucrin is actually an injectable drug given for treatment of some illness including endrometriosis.. i pernah tanya doctor why should i take this injection, doctor kata, period can cause cyst, so those who took lucrin, period akan stop for at least 3 months and next 5 months on 2nd injection... tujuan nak stop period is to make sure the cyst clear and can put high effort to conceive... (dalam hati kata... hurmmmm, boleh ker? tapi POSITIVE... insyaALLAH)... and yes, i tak period for last 3 months, last time period is masa a week after operation sbb lucrin tak akan immediately effect cycle masa tu, so just imagine la kannn... after operate, period pulak... period pain still ada... so it's very PAINFUL!! thank you very much... huhuhuu... tapi the best thing is i  puasa penuh you this year... ;)  secara total i tak period for 8 MONTHS!!! ayoooooo.... lama kannnn... so confirm2, tak mengandung la... tapi cam orang preggy gak kannn.. hehehe... okay, experience tak period 8 bulan + operation and berpantang... hurmmmm... tu dah rasa... baby je takde lagi.... 

however, despite it's effectiveness, lucrin is not for everyone as it presents several risks for side effects and complications... and it's expensive too... one injection will cost you RM1k++ huh! dah la sakit... mahal plak tu! complication to some person might be differ to others.. tapi normally complication sama macam menopause.. yang paling obvious and common side effect is hot flashes... imagine, bila uolls tgh dlm keadaan biasa jer, even with air-conditioned.. tetiba akan rasa panassssss.... boleh berpeluh-peluh tau... in ur car for instance, if sebelum ni selalu marah klu my hubby bukak air-cond kuat2, but now.. myself pulak yang ,masuk jer kete... air-cond kene make sure, paling sejuk! hehehe.... 

tapi doctor ada cerita, yg some of her patient ada yang effect dari segi emosi and attitude... like if sebelum ni garang, after lucrin, tak garang dah... hehehe... kelakar kannn... tapi for me, tak obvious sangat laa... cuma sometime, terlampau manja and sometime dingin sikit... tapi my hubby layan jer... hehehe...
  
other side effects to those who take lucrin might be experience dizziness, pain throughout the body, headache, nausea and vomiting. Nervous system effects like anxiety, tingling in the extremities, forgetfulness, sour taste and insomnia as well as fever and fatigue are also possible while taking lucrin.

hurrmmmmm.... pendek kata, it's really change my life.. tapi whatever it is.. life must goes on... always positive and as a muslim, kita kena percaya pada Qada dan Qadar... semuanya ALLAH dah tentukan.. teruskan berusaha dan berdoa... :)

• 

Dr. Nikola Gjuzelov 

"Lucrin depot is a GnRH-analog that, if given continuously, suppresses production of FSH and LH and then indirectly suppresses estrogen and progesterone production from the ovaries. 


Lucrin shuts down the axis hypothalamus-pituitary-ovaries and prevents further ovulations and periods. Now you experience irregular uterine bleeding (metrorrhagia) because the level of estrogen hormones increases shortly and then decreases completely. This is a temporary condition that can last until estrogens reach zero level and endometrial growth becomes completely suppressed. 


This procedure is used for treating endometriosis. You might have endometriosis of the removed ovary because a chocolate cyst is caused by ovarian endometriosis. 


This procedure with Lucrin is also used to prepare the woman for “in vitro”-fertilization. A woman’s own production of FSH and LH should be stopped before starting stimulation with synthetic FSH and LH from outside". read more:  http://ehealthforum.com/health/lucrin-depot-and-endometriosis-t140781-a1.html#b 

me with ovarian cyst and fibroids :(

now let us continue on what is actually happen to me...

masa nak masuk OT, i am super nervous... dah tak mampu nak kata apa2 kat mr dar... tapi dar pesan... "bie ishtighfar byk2, selawat... insyaALLAH everything will be okay.. dar tunggu bie kat luar, tak g mana ye... i love you".... "bie love you too dar" mucho..mucho ❤❤❤

mr dar tunggu sorang2 kat luar OT... sian dia.. ye la, konon tak nak susah kan sesiapa kan.... and as mentioned ealier, we have been told by the doc and nurses that the procedure might only took 1 hour.. so mr dar, waited patiently kat luar OT.. tapi bak kata mr dar, after one hour.. still tak kuar, 2 jam tak kuar... my hubby dah mula risau dan gelisah start bising pegi tanya nurse semua... nak tahu what is actually happen to me.. tapi tak sorang pon tahu what is actually happen in OT..
huhuhu.. 3 jam pon tak kuar lagi, lagi la dia risau... kesiannya suami ku...

tetiba, dar kata after almost 4 hours... dia dengar org menjerit2 sakit.... huhuhu... and guess what.... it's me!!!! waaaaaaa..... coz the worst part is ubat bius tu abis immediately after the operations ends.... arghhhhh..... ya ALLAH... only HE knows the paint!! masyaALLAH.... pedihnye..... and i couldnt do anything and not knowing what is actually happen to me.... huhuhuhu... poor me... abis operation they wake me up, masa tu sedar and jerit la... sakit tauuuu.... sakit sangat... and very traumatic..

normally, ubat bius akan abis dlm 3 to4 hours after operation... but in my case.. i woke up and feel the pain immediately after the operation ends... so just imagine my condition... mau tak menjerit.. sakit... all i can say is "sakit..sakit.. tolong la... sakit", smpi my hubby kata... sedih sangat tgk my condition... and i have no idea that i've gone through 4 hours of surgery, with tiga tempat jahitan sbb tebuk utk laparoscopy procedure plus... a long cut to remove a cyst from my right ovari and two small fibroids from my left tube... it's was a doc decision since we have no kids and that might be one of the reason... and my left tube twisted, so doc dah betul kan jugak... sounds scary kan....

and the pain makes me tak boleh tido the whole night... but at least the pain killer buat tahan sikit la... so bermula pantang seperti org bersalin... huhuhu...for more than a week mmg tak kuat nak ddk lama... sakit, banyak baring.. and my niece yg banyak jaga, nak bangun panggil, nak g toilet papahkan... pakai kan stokin, siapkan baju nak tukar... alhamdulilah ada niece yg boleh diharapkan... ye la, mr dar kene la g keje dah cuti seminggu lebih.. kesian kat my mom nak masak semua... so niece la yg byk tolong... and dia mmg suka pon.. hehehe...

me and hubby took this test as a dugaan dari ALLAH, only HE knows the best for us.. but with all the doas from family and friends, insyaALLAH we will be strong..




me before the day of surgery... sempat lagi ye.. tak tahu, esoknye nak kene operate.. pastu kene pantang lagi... huhuhu.. sabar je la... tak smpt pon nak share apa yg dibeli tu... huhuhu.. tapi bukan handbag ye... hehehe




me and my one and only beloved nurse, caretaker, chef, and hubby: mr dar... tq sayang for everything, i ❤ u so much... and is because of you dar, i will be strong... thank you ya ALLAH for everything that YOU grant for me and my hubby... alhamdulilah...

"don't lose hope coz ALLAH maha mengetahui dan berkuasa atas hamba-hambaNYa" aamiin....

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it's been 3 weeks...

yes... it's been 3 weeks after my surgery... one of my nightmare... and unexpected moments which eventually change my life..

it's begin a week before my surgery day.. rasa sakit sangat on my left side (u'll know later at which part)... especially bila busy, and i bit busy travelling to penang and jb for meetings... so mmg la sakit kann.... then my hubby ask me to see doctor, since i'd the same paint before.. so on friday 25th May, jumpa specialist kat an-nur bangi... then after scan and ultra sound... doc suspect yg i'm pregnant (not really excited though) tapi luar rahim... which is very dangerous... and she also suspect that there's something on my left ovari.. but ultrasound does not show real picture so she referred me to hospital for laparoscopy procedure... and i'm like.... what was that... GOOGLE....

and ya ALLAH, takutnye.... i've never admitted before... tak pernah masuk hospital ko.... tapi doc kata, if tak buat... bahaya for myself since tak tahu apa sbnrnye... lagipon it's just a minor surgery, tebuk perut utk masukkan camera... huhuhu... sounds ngeri kan... nak main tebuk2 plak.... adoiiii...

my hubby kata... ok, let's go... he's really concern about my health.. sian dar, you're worried so much.. oh cinta... please... i need a break... apa kata dar bawak bie g pavillion dulu, bie nak g jalan2, starbucks and etc... and he likes... hurmmmm ok sayang... muaaahhhhsss... (it's explain my previous post, bershopping bagai tuuu.... hehehee)

ok, then on monday, we went to kpj kajang, but doc was on leave for emergency... so, takpe... the next day, we went to ampang puteri... and they told us, the procedure cannot be done since OT on renovation... huhuhuhu... okay...

so on wednesday, 30th May, appointment at kpj kajang with my gyne dr rasliza ramli... she's very good... highly recommended...

and i did the same test, scan and ultrasound... and the doc still tak tahu apa, but both doc mentioned there's cyst about 2cm.. kecik and normally doc won't remove... but it was my right side.. left remain unknown (amboiii... main sorok2 plak...sabar je laaa) then dr rasliza pon tanya "bila last makan? makan apa?" i jawab... "this morning, breakfast roti telur and milo ais" (without knowing it was my last milo ais for next few months... ehhh boleh ke tahan... hehehe)

pastu dr kata... "ok, let's do the laparoscopy and start puasa ye..." and i was like.... blurrrrr.... tapi pujuk myself... ala, nak scope je pon... dlm 1 hour siap semua.... hurmmmm.... hari ni admit, esok kuar... sounds simple kannn... cam tak sakit jer... huhuhu

since, hospital penuh... (ramainye org sakit ye, mayb ramai yg nak deliver kot) about 3pm... kpj kajang call "puan, puan dah boleh check in ye.. katil semua dah siap..." chewahhhh, cam check in hotel plak....

ok, now i'm nervous.... waaaaaaa.... just the two of us g hospital, since minor surgery, so i just inform my sister, my mom and my hubby family... ofis, just bgtau... i masuk hospital... tu je... msk jer, tak ddk pon katil lagi... tak sempat nak feelings2 okay... dah laaa 1st time masuk... nurse dtg bg uniform OT... "puan ready ye, kita nak terus pegi OT".. then i jawab "saya nak mandi dulu" hehehe.... abis je mandi.. dah tercegat kat luar.. "puan boleh baring, take out everything.." i jawab.. "where's my hubby?" pastu cam nak nangis.. bila ddk atas katil... nak tunggu kene tolak... and i'm blurrrr... my hubby kata.. "relax sayang ye, dun worry... 1 jam jer.. dar tunggu bie kat luar"... even the nurse yg bwk pegi OT pon perasan yg me so nervous... gile ko tak nervous.... waaaaaaaa....

okay what happen next?

what?!!!
it's not laparoscopy! then what?!!!
not 1 hour operation... and i'm screaming in the OT?? what the..... waaaaaaa.....

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my love tweet ❤

mr dar kata "ngada" hahaha...

elehhh, nak romantic2 pon tak lehh... sombong... hehehe... ;)

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takde anak lagi??!!! kesiannye.... :(

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..........

boleh tak tiap kali that type of question shoot dari mulut sapa2, aku nak lariiiiiiiii.....

seriously i'm damn boring to answer and deals with all sort of question pasal baby...

i'm totally tired!! 


tolong laaaaa......

tapi mr dar selalu je cakap... "they care, that's why they asked..."

huh... tapi takkan everytime kot.... huhuhuhu.... penat laaa....

ketahuilah dan fahamilah.... bukan kami tak nak... 
cuma BELUM REZEKI kami....


betapa kami mendambakan zuriat ever since the day we got married in 2006
dan kalau la, anak tu boleh dimintak2 macam tu jer... kan senang... 
tapi siapa lah kita untuk mempersoalkan DIA YANG SATU

menangis? tok sah cakap laaaa.... selalu jer, and i remembered one time bila my mom bagitau yang my sister pregnant her 5th baby.... i just can't handle it.... coz masa tu my nephew yg no 4 tu umur dia lebih kurang one year mcm tu la... so i just.... "oh ye ke"..
than lari masuk bilik, nangis... 


mr dar yang tgh tido nyenyak terperanjat arr... "ehhhh... kenapa nih... kenapa bie nanges?"


and i just..... "kak long pregnant.... waaaaaaaaaaaa"


"than kenapa nangis pulak?"


"sedihnye.... dar, we're the one who should have the baby.... tapi..... waaaaaaaa"


"dah rezeki, mungkin belum tiba masa kita...., kita ada kekurangan kot...."


"kita terus doa ye.... dah jangan nanges..."


♥ HUGSSSS ♥

kan semua dah tertulis... kami hanya mampu merancang, usaha, berdoa dan bertawakal....

Sesungguhnya keadaan kekuasaanNya apabila Ia menghendaki adanya sesuatu, hanyalah Ia berfirman kepada (hakikat) benda itu: " Jadilah engkau! ". Maka ia terus menjadi. 

(Yaa Siin 36:82)

kami hanya manusia biasa.... kami selalu memohon agar ALLAH anugerahkan zuriat buat penyambung kasih sayang dan cinta kami...

tapi apa lah daya kami.... sesungguhnya rezeki itu belum milik kami...

membaca kisah keluarga Maryam dan keluarga Nabi Zakaria amat menyentuh naluri ku dan menginsafkan aku bahawa sesungguhnya DIA maha berkuasa dan maha mengetahui atas segala-galanya....

✿ WALLAHUALAM ✿

p/s: tenang je suami ku itu.... ye la kannnn sbb bini dia very the diva yang kelam kabutsss.... hehehhe..

but the best part of having a wonderful niece and nephew is... we have place to spread the love... seriously, and the last two nephews are so adorable... and they love us toooo, but they love my hubby more... menci tul.... i should blog about them.. one day...